Dear Dish-It,
I was dating my best friends out. Now she barely talks to me – she won’t even sign the cast I had to have put on my hand! I’m trying to make things go back to normal but it doesn’t seem to be working. What should I do?
Broken
Dear Broken,
It seems like what you’re asking me is how to stay friends with an ex.
Make sure you're over them. e1h5v
Even if you're going to be the best of friends, you both still need some time to collect yourself after breaking up.
Make sure your intentions are good. 1c471
Being "friends" with an ex just to torment them or to prevent them from dating other people doesn't help anyone in the long run. In fact, it makes you look really bad.
Check in on them. 16u14
Send a friendly text message or call them on their birthday. Ask them how things are going. Find out what's new in their life and how they've changed since you dated. Be ive of their individuality.Let them know that you feel positive about them as a person and that you'd like to be friends. 28101y
If you were there for them as a boyfriend, you can be there for them as a friend, too.
Tell them that you think they're great and that, for the most part, you wouldn't change a thing about them. 294bj
(Well, unless they're doing something really mean or stupid.) An ego boost can help mend some of the leftover wounds from the breakup.
Avoid romantic topics – and the temptation to flirt – especially when you're starting the friendship. o5z3z
This can be tricky if you have been involved with someone romantically, but you can do it if you stay focused. You don't want to lead the other person on, and you certainly don't want them to lead you on either.
At first, keep your conversations and meetings short and, if possible, fun. u4m5a
Remind them just how great you are to hang out with. However, set limits for how often you'll talk to them and hang out with them.
Keep working toward your own goals. Don't fall back into negative old patterns from the relationship. 414b2k
Develop your own interests and encourage your ex to do the same.
If your ex doesn't seem interested in a friendship, you need to respect their wishes. It may be a possibility in the future but, for now, focus on your other friends.
Also, if your ex is not treating you with the same respect you expect of any other friend, it's not a good time to pursue a friendship with them.
More tips: 2si1q
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